I am a compulsive overeater. I've known this my whole life, but have only recently come to the conclusion that this is a true addiction and that I am utterly out of control.
Pretty much since puberty I've been a little on the heavy side, and I've slowly been ballooning, since. I've tried diet and exercise and although I've had some success, I've never been able to make any lasting changes. I've attempted to set limits, saying "As long as I'm under 220lbs, I'll be okay". And of course, I blew right past that. And then it was 250, then 300.
I'm thirty years old and I move like an old woman. I have trouble getting up off the floor and I nearly constantly worry about my joints. I have high blood pressure and depression and have irregular menstrual periods due to my size. I have chronic back pain. I get embarrassed when trying to squeeze between tables at a restaurant or sit in a stadium seat that cuts into my sides. I take over $100 (my cost) of medications monthly to deal with side effects of my weight.
I'm miserable. I'm lonely. I'm depressed.
And I don't want to die from this addiction.
So I'm doing something about this.
Yesterday, I attended my first recovery meeting. Today, I connected with a fellow food addict, one on one.
And even as I type, I'm battling the urge to go raid the refrigerator for a "midnight snack".
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